Friday, June 9
What am I missing?
Scripture: Acts 23
Acts 23:26–27 Claudius Lysias to His Excellency Governor Felix, greetings. 27 This man was seized by the Jews and they were about to kill him, when I came up with the detachment and rescued him, because I had learned that he was a Roman citizen.
Observation
This makes me smile every time I read it. Commander Lysias did in fact rescue Paul from a murderous Jewish mob, but he didn’t do it because he knew Paul was a Roman citizen. He didn’t learn that bit of information until later, when he was about to have Paul beaten, and Paul revealed that he was a citizen. Lysias adjusted the narrative to make himself look better. It was self-serving. It is also what all of us do.
Application
It has been a very difficult season for me—conflict has been churning between people I love. If you talk with each of them, you will hear very different stories. The narratives vary wildly! The same events are described very differently, often with some details omitted or emphasized depending on who you are talking to. Are these bad people? Liars? Deceivers? No! All good people who love Jesus.
But…people nonetheless. And all people—me included—craft their narratives like Lysias did, to favor ourselves or our preferred point of view. Our narratives are true…to a point. But they leave out so much and are driven by self-interest.
I’m reading a book by Monica Guzman, I Never Thought of it That Way Before. She suggests that when we don’t understand another person’s perspective, we should ask, “What am I missing?” For example, she didn’t understand how her Mexican immigrant parents could vote for Trump—twice. But when she took the time to hear their narrative (even though it was incomplete), she thought, “If that was my story, I’d have voted for Trump too.” She didn’t necessarily agree with their narrative, but she took the time to hear it and understand it from their perspective.
So often I don’t understand people. I’ve felt that way a lot lately. I realize that their narratives, like mine, are incomplete and self-serving. Not dishonest, just human. I need to ask, “What am I missing?” and try to understand. I may not agree with them, but at least I could understand them.
Prayer: Lord, I love You. Please help me be curious and not judgmental. When I am frustrated by others, help me to ask good questions, be a good listener, and understand their narrative. Also, help me see the holes in my own narrative—the places where I’m pulling a Lysias!
More: 2 Kings 3-4, Colossians 1