When I was raped, everything fell apart. Nothing saved me from the rape, literally. And that threw me for a loop because if you are raised to run everything, then you think you can change any circumstance. I couldn’t change that it happened and couldn’t change that I was so depressed I didn’t want to to get out of bed. Nothing made it go away.

My friend said to me, “Why do you think God wanted you raped?” I just froze. I was searching for healing. I started reading Genesis. I said, “OK God, I’m going to read through your book and if you cause rape, I am out of here.”

Where is God when we need him the most?

Jan Martinez, Founder of Christ Kitchen, shares her struggles in life and in motherhood.